GUEST BLOG: The Bad Apple

By TIM BREWER - Guest Blogger, Danny Bonaduce's Dealer

Memorial Day is always the right time to reflect on the sacrifices of our men and women in the armed forces. This three-day weekend also creates a number of interesting memories for me, as the Indianapolis 500 is held in my hometown, my family visits for a cookout and I always find time to fit in a solid hangover or two.

This Memorial Day weekend will be etched in my brain forever because of a goofball friend from high school and his countless unimaginable actions. My blog superstar buddy Matt (creator of this fair blog) and I meet up with goofball friend to go to a cookout. We drive to the cookout and he sees a lady pulled over having car trouble pleading for his help. She tries to flag us down and he rolls down the window and yells, "I don't have any money, honey!" We then arrive at the party and I introduce my friends to the host and a few people. We were not there but 15 minutes and he sees a larger woman walking on the sidewalk and screams "You got a big ass!" Impressive, I know. I’ve known the host for a few years and I think she is so cute and darling, and now she probably thinks I’m a total dillweed for bringing him along.

We proceed to a concert just around the corner and make our path up near the stage. Goofball friend finds the first woman who makes eye contact with him and he hops on it like a tiger devouring a wilderbeast. His attempt to recreate "Dirty Dancing" may just make me devoid of all female fantasies for the next six months. From other concert attendees I heard, "get a room," "that chick is brutal," "come on man, Jesus," "wasn’t she in 'Planet of the Apes,'" "wash your hands," and infinite use of the words heinous and atrocious. It was something to behold.

Needless to say, Matt and I left him there and got burritos.