Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Dogfather

After 28 years, I’m officially a godfather.

Tim and I have agreed that I shall be the godfather of his new Beagle, named “Dunston” after my suggestion to give him the moniker of my favorite Chicago Cub (rocket-armed shortstop Shawon Dunston) of all-time. Dunston arrived Sunday afternoon and seemed a little nervous, but eventually fell asleep after touring Tim’s house and yard in Broad Ripple. It’s a pretty nice little situation.

I’m not totally sure what being a godfather entails, but I think it mainly means I’ll be in charge of, um, finding the dog's new owner if Tim dies. Just kidding, as I’m sure I’ll take him in and raise him as I would my own dog. Together, we’ll become the first father/son team to accomplish some feat – I’m just not sure what yet. I’m betting it will involve eating though, as I can eat a freakish amount for my weight and I can train Dunston to expand his stomach like Kobayashi. Look at me, already dreaming of the future.

In the ancient debate of dogs vs. cats, I’m a total dog guy. I won’t get into the theory of why guys are like dogs and women are like cats, mainly because I’m not in the mood to read angry comments from women. However, I will contend that, by and large, dogs tend to be loyal and apt to please others with love - and by sacrificing their own pride - while cats are traditionally self-important and oblivious to the considerations of others. That’s all I’m saying. Also, like men, dogs have the decency to urinate outdoors instead of going in a make-shift gravel pit in somebody’s kitchen. It's simply a matter of courtesy, folks.

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